It is no secret that people who choose to hire a weight loss coach or do a weight loss program at a facility are looking for accountability. Accountability may be the number one single reason that people do a formal weight loss program. We all seem to be aware that we are better off having someone else there for us, to make sure that we do what we say we are going to do. I cannot count how many clients have said “I would’ve cheated, but I knew I would have to face you the next day”.
So from this, we can conclude that accountability is not only a good, but in many cases a necessary thing. Why is it then that when a coach tries to hold someone accountable, they resist. This is a fascinating push-pull that can happen often with clients.
What’s so interesting about it is that that is why people are coming to us, and yet when we give them what they were paying for, they will often resist. Well, it turns out that people are of two minds on this subject about responsibility.
In fact, if you want to upset somebody, there is no better way than to remind them of their responsibility, whether it be to themselves or their work, or their children. And I’m not even talking about criticizing, I’m speaking of just reminding somebody. Try it sometime. Try reminding somebody of a commitment they made, or mention that they’re not fully living up to their responsibility in some way. In other words, try holding them accountable and see the response.
Why is that? Why do we have this ‘schizophrenic’ mindset about being responsible? Well, it probably comes down to a confusion or a conflation of the concepts of responsibility and guilt and freedom. More people than not likely see responsibility as a check or a barrier to their freedom. And on top of that, humans know when they’re not living up to their ideal selves or a commitment that they made. Try to remind them of that even when they say they want to be reminded, even when they insist that you do. And you might be looking for a fight or you might be looking to get ghosted. There may be another factor at play here, which is the state of the world.
It is no secret that as the world has become somewhat more unstable and unreliable, people have become more frenzied. Five years ago, if I would call an old client and check in on them. They would always be very appreciative. Always get back to me. Now, when I make my calls to check up on people or check in with them, I don’t hear from them. Something has changed fundamentally within each of us, and I can’t say what it is for sure, whether it is the fact that we’ve been spooked by some of the events over the past few years, or just the fact that there’s so much more incoming. But in my observation, people who have always been resistant to certain things are even more so.
Now, yes, I’m complaining. My job has become harder. Thus making it harder for my clients. It’s somehow less collaborative. I don’t wanna be seen as a jailer or someone who tries to enforce what’s best for people.
And I am frankly unsure how people interpret the concept of help. Giving guidance and support, holding someone accountable to the commitments that they’ve made for themselves is help. So while that push-pull has been present, it has changed to some degree in the late period. What’s needed is simply greater understanding, greater understanding of the client coach relationship, greater understanding of what it means to be held accountable and to make a commitment. And that’s what I will strive to do. I will strive to create greater understanding for my clients and future clients.
If you are interested in learning more about ThinTech’s programs, or want to have a consultation about your weight loss, health, and wellness give us a call.
For more information on ThinTech’s programs please reach out to us at (908) 276-4393, or schedule a consultation online. Now is your chance to leave that behind and build a healthier, happier, more hopeful life.